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“A submissive lover should always anticipate a level of balance and to be able to steer sex within the confines of their own wants without being pressured to surpass them,” he says. “Having sexually subservient inclinations is a source of anxiety for many people because of the potential impact on their daily lives. Submitting in the bedroom will not invalidate your conscious decision to behave, so long as you are aware of this. Individuals who are self-assured and socially dominating frequently indulge in fantasies of sexual dominance and subordination.”

Taking a sexually subservient position does not give your partner “carte licence to use you in any manner they see appropriate”. However, not all people with submissive desires must adhere to a D/S relationship structure, even if they are in a D/S partnership.